Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
