I want to have your abortion
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
