what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
