Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize