Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
