I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
