That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
