Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Even my vagina gasped.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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