everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize