Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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