i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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