he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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