i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Need sex. Gaining weight.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
