Moan for me like Helen Keller
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
