I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
