He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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