woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I'm getting married
To pizza
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize