i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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