weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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