my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
