we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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