break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
