My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize