youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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