Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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