can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
