you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
