Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
