so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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