Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
