Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
