I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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