This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
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