if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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