Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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