New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
