oh god the rape fog is back!
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
