question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
