i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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