Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
