If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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