Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Never underestimate the power of titties
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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