My girlfriend figured out who you are.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
