Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
i may or may not be watching the land before time
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
