I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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