they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
