Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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