I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
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I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
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It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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