Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
