Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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