I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
