How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
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The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
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Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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