if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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