You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
