She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I pour the whiskey from now on
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize