Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
