Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Randomize
