dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
