I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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