This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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