I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
