we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
